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Stogie Commentary: Words of Wisdom for Valentine’s Day

14 Feb 2007

For what it’s worth, I happen to think Valentine’s Day is a pretty craptacular “holiday.” I don’t mean to be a party pooper, but, if you’re a clueless guy like me, February 14 is an annual lose-lose day.

On one hand, if you’re in a relationship (as I currently am – sorry ladies), Valentine’s poses huge potential for disaster. For example, if you don’t know what her favorite flowers and/or candies are or – worse – if you forget to get her something altogether, count on not scoring for awhile.

On the other hand, if you’re single, the entire day is a 24-hour reminder of what a loser you are. Might as well break out some hard alcohol and cry yourself to sleep.

In fact, I’d wager the only people who actually enjoy this sick day are chicks who are in relationships and Hallmark executives.

Nonetheless, in a pathetic effort to tie in the holiday with stogies, I thought you would enjoy reading what some other cigar enthusiasts have to say about love. And don’t worry: February 15 is right around the corner.

“A woman is just a script, but a cigar is a motion picture.”Samuel Fuller

“After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn’t involve two human beings.” — Brad Shaw

“Women are jealous of cigars. They regard them as a strong rival.”William Makepeace Thackeray

“If I paid $10 for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it.”George Burns

“Smoking is indispensable if one has nothing to kiss.”Sigmund Freud

“Lastly (and this is, perhaps, the golden rule), no woman should marry a man who does not smoke.”Robert Louis Stevenson

“If your wife doesn’t like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.”Zino Davidoff

Patrick A

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8 Responses to “Stogie Commentary: Words of Wisdom for Valentine’s Day”

  1. Patrick S Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 5:20 am #

    Here are two more:

    "Darling, you must choose between me and your cigars."

    — Rudyard Kipling, The Betrothed, 1899

    "Lady Bracknell: Do you smoke?

    Earnest: Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.

    Lady Bracknell: I am glad to hear it. A man should always have an occupation of some kind."

    — Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

  2. Girlfriend of Patric Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 7:38 am #

    Despite what he may have you all think…Patrick actually likes Valentine's Day. It has all of his favorite things: lots of food he didn't cook, lots of kisses, and Davidoff cigars at the end of the night.

    On that end note: Cigars are to Men as Flowers are to Women on Valentine's day…Ladies, you can't go wrong with a bundle of his favorite cigars in exchange for the 50 bucks or so (due to inflated prices this week) he'll be dropping on flowers.

  3. Scott Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 8:58 am #

    Actually, my favorite cigar quote is from Groucho Marx, taken from his TV show "You Bet Your Life"…

    Groucho: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children?

    Mrs. Smith: Yes, thirteen.

    Groucho: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?

    Mrs. Smith: Well, I love my husband.

    Groucho: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

    I'm fortunate enough to have the best solution…a girlfriend who smokes cigars. Not that I'm off-the-hook for flowers and chocolates, mind you…

  4. George E Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 10:56 am #

    You should know that the Groucho tale, like Freud's supposed line about a cigar is just a cigar, is a fanciful invention, something people wish had been said. You can check Snopes for an extended examination of the Groucho story. As for the psychoanalyst's tale, Freud scholars nearly all agree that quote is bogus.

  5. Doug Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 11:33 am #

    "Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."

    LOL … that's great.

  6. Doug Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 11:36 am #

    "Despite what he may have you all think…Patrick actually likes Valentine’s Day. It has all of his favorite things: lots of food he didn’t cook, lots of kisses, and Davidoff cigars at the end of the night."

    Patrick if you get Davidoff cigars on valentine's day I thin k you just found a "win" in your lose-lose situation.

    Buy that woman flowers.. lots of them.

  7. Patrick A Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 12:05 pm #

    Thanks a lot, Doug. Now I have to…

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