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Stogie Tips: Have a Happy Cigar Halloween

25 Oct 2010

This weekend is Halloween, that fabled holiday of trick-or-treating, pumpkins, and ghost stories. That leaves only six short days to pick the perfect costume.

We’re here to help all of you overgrown kids who aren’t above costume parties. After all, depending on your party’s locale, you may want to incorporate a cigar into your disguise—especially if you aim to enjoy some premium tobacco on this spooky occasion. One obvious example is the so-called “Cigar Guy,” that stogie-wielding golf fan who became an internet sensation after he was featured in a widely circulated photo taken at this year’s Ryder Cup. There are countless other possibilities. Here are our top 20 favorites:

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whether you’re going as The Governator or one of his gun-toting movie characters, a big cigar won’t look out of place.

2. Michael Jordan. Now in retirement, the greatest basketball player always hits the links with a smoke.

3. Groucho Marx. Sure, it’s a little dated, but this American icon loved his stogies.

4. Ulysses S. Grant. Some say the super-sized prez smoked around 20 cigars a day.

5. Mark Twain. America’s cigar-smoking author.

6. Kramer. Just don’t use any racial slurs.

7. Scarface. Say hello to my little friend.

8. Bill Clinton. The former president got into trouble with his cigars.

9. Mike Ditka. Da coach.

10. Sigmund Freud. Do you think the cigar-smoking neurologist was into cigars because he was envious of his father’s you-know-what?

11. Jesse Ventura. I’d recommend going as his Blain character from Predator.

12. Hot cigar girl. Enough said.

13. Winston Churchill. Leading (and smoking) England through World War II, this prime minister is by far the manliest British dude ever. By far.

14. Clint Eastwood. Step one: Grab a six-shooter, a cowboy hat, and a Backwoods cigar. Step two: Go kill some Indians.

15. A cigar store Indian. Watch out for Clint Eastwoods.

16. A cigar-chomping communist dictator. Any Pinko Commie like Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Il, or Che Guevara will do.

17. The Babe. Maybe the greatest slugger in baseball history, Babe Ruth was known for his love of food, drink, and cigars.

18. Tony Soprano. We may never know what happened after “Don’t Stop Believing” stopped playing, but we do know that this mafia boss smoked a cigar in almost every episode of The Sopranos.

19. Al Capone. If we’re talking mafia bosses, why not be the original? Capone was known for his enjoyment of cigars, booze, and women. Just don’t get syphilis.

20. A Cigar. Sure, smoking a cigar while being dressed as a cigar may seem weirdly cannibalistic, but what better way to show your love for stogies?

Got a few costume ideas that we missed? Let us know in the comments.

The Stogie Guys

photo credit: Daily Mail

6 Responses to “Stogie Tips: Have a Happy Cigar Halloween”

  1. McBro Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 10:58 pm #

    "Hey who are you supposed to be?" "I'm Michael Jordan on the golf course, duhh!!!" WTF?!?! worst costume idea ever!

  2. Scott Monday, October 25, 2010 at 1:26 am #

    I am trying to come up with a movie where Clint Eastwood killed Indians.

  3. st Monday, October 25, 2010 at 3:44 am #

    Grant was not particularly super-sized, either in height or girth. Here's a shot of him as president:

    You may be thinking of William H. Taft, a genuinely big dude (don't know if he was a smoker).

  4. Trev Monday, October 25, 2010 at 4:17 am #

    Weird. I've always thought of Grant as a big dude. Regardless, he really liked his cigars.

    Another good costume idea — and one that Cigar Guy was gunning for — is Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez. I love that guy.

  5. Steve Monday, October 25, 2010 at 10:37 am #

    How about Gomez from the Addams Family?

  6. Gary Korb Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 6:53 am #

    How about going as a cigar celeb like:

    Jonathan Drew – Big sunglasses, funky shoes and a beat-up Joya De Nicaragua hat

    Avo Uvezian – White suit and straw hat (this costume is interchangeable in case you decide to go as Litto Gomez

    Rocky Patel – Armani pin-striped suit and a good tan.

    The Smokin' Hot Cigar Chick – If you're into drag, this is a winner.