Stogie Commentary: My Top Five Cigar Pet Peeves

The art of smoking cigars is all about enjoyment, relaxation, and taking a much-needed break from an otherwise hectic day. That and tasting delicious, delicious tobacco. At least that’s why I consider myself a cigar enthusiast.

Maybe you ride the stogie train for completely different reasons. But pretty much nobody smokes cigars in order to get pissed off. Despite that, and as my colleague pointed out in April, there are a number of industry nuisances (aside from smoking bans and tobacco taxes) that need to be addressed. So I begrudgingly submit to you my top five cigar pet peeves:

1. So-called “super-premiums” with poor construction. When I spend $10 or more on a single, I expect top-notch physical properties. Anything less than a sturdy ash, a clear draw, and a sharp burn is disappointing—no matter how fantastic the flavors might be. An expensive stick that smokes poorly is like a Porsche with bad steering alignment.

2. Polarization towards industry superstars and popular brands. Cigar consumers and publications alike tend to gravitate towards towering figures like Don Pepin Garcia and Rocky Patel. Perhaps deservedly so. But it irks me when enthusiasts use this fascination as an excuse to ignore B&M house blends and boutique creations—especially since uncovering an underappreciated gem can be so rewarding (and not to mention easier on your wallet).

3. Expensive cigar gadgets that under-perform. We all need cutters, lighters, and other accessories to keep puffing away. And even though we’ve written about well-made options that won’t break the bank, sometimes—depending on income, preference, or occasion—it may be appropriate to shell out good money for top-of-the-line wares. Nothing’s worse, though, than when a $100+ lighter stops working well before your sub-$5 Ronson.

4. Insufficient information on cigar websites and boxes. Since each manufacturer has various lines, shapes, sizes, and wrappers, and since the name of each individual stogie is rarely printed on its label, knowing exactly what you’re smoking can be difficult. Is it too much to ask to have the complete cigar name printed on boxes? Is it too difficult for producers to keep comprehensive and updated catalogs of their blends on their websites? I’d rather not have to bring a pen and paper with me every time I visit my local tobacconist.

5. Inconsistency. In a perfect world, where all cigars are stored in ideal conditions, each stick of the same blend and vitola would taste and perform similarly. It’s frustrating when you try a stick, like it, and buy a whole box only to have your new purchases smoke completely differently. While I realize there are many variables (some of which—like the weather—are out of cigar manufacturers’ control), inconsistencies make finding and maintaining a supply of what you like all the more difficult.

Don’t get me wrong, though. Despite these pet peeves, smoking cigars is still one of the most enjoyable activities around. Perhaps it’s telling that my biggest complaint is often that I don’t have enough time to engage in this hobby as I’d like. So I guess I could keep listing off gripes but, with all the great cigars out there, who’d listen?

-Patrick A

photo credit: Flickr